Day 93 – Saturday smells like Teen Spirit

Hit the pool at my short term furnished apartment space and then had breakfast – then I took more time on my knees to seek God. I asked for Him to open my eyes and my ears so that I could sense whatever He might be calling me into. I know that I don’t spend enough time listening to God – most of the time I am so busy telling Him about what I need and telling Him what other people in my life want/need that I don’t just shut-up and give silence to Him – or even thanksgiving. I have been rescued so many times from dumb decisions – I think some thanksgiving is in order, don’t you?

Ecclesiastes meditation: the author of the book says that he denies himself nothing that his eye desires to see if there is any meaning in folly. And knowing that this author has the bankroll to do whatever he wants to means he is not going to miss much that is available in that time and culture. Cue the hundreds of wives and concubines. Confession: Sometimes I wish I could just go to Vegas and give myself permission to indulge in every hedonistic opportunity available in that town. It’s sad to admit, but I actually have that temptation still. After all of these years of sinning and being forgiven and after being gifted with a girl like Melissa, I still entertain the worst thoughts. I wonder why? Is this just leftover temptation or am I just a wretched man who needs to see that I need a savior on an every day basis. Sometimes I scare myself…

I used this Saturday early afternoon to review the accounts I am still handling. I have been keeping pretty close attention to all of them, but it never hurts to check up on the condition of both new and old accounts. After losing that one client, I don’t want to lose anymore due to my neglect. The ones that concern me the most are the ones seeking to rank better for “church architects” (3D animation) and for “homes for sale in Lubbock.” They aren’t suffering or anything but they have so much strong competition that I don’t want to let them to be overtaken. This is where my competitive side comes in. I want to win with all of my clients because I feel like I owe it to them. They are paying good money for our services and I don’t want someone else beating them.  I am happy that my Lubbock landscaping group is flourishing – I tried out some new methods for them and they are paying off – I will use these new methods across the board and especially for those businesses mentioned above.

Melissa and I went ahead and booked our appointment with supposedly the best premarital counselor in the area. Dr. Johnson is going to put us through the paces and ask us lots of questions to challenge us. I actually look forward to having a third party to mediate between Melissa and I. It’s easy to get blinded by romance and it will be good to have someone on the outside who has years of insight. Maybe he will help us find answers to questions we have about marriage. And maybe he will know what to tell us about how to stay pure until we say “I do.” (That issue gets harder and harder every day – intimacy seems to start with the body and moves to the insides later on – Lord, help us not to blow this.)

That’s all I’ve got to report on today – Oh, I forgot about church – I’ll tell about it next journal.