Day 137 – Sunday Ups

Another week ends in my corporate housing suite and my treadmill speed is up to a five. I’ll leave it there for a long time. No need to get cocky as I did before. Today was a strange day and night. I felt a lot of internal pressure as I prepared for the Monday through Friday movements. It was as if my work responsibilities, which are usually no problem, were raising their fists to my face – trying to knock me out before I even got started, especially with my Lubbock catering clients. This happens once in a while to me – maybe twice a year but usually at the end of the year as things get ramped up after the holidays. When this happens, I typically write down some truths that will deflect the lies that make me feel like I am going to fail. Does this ever happen to you? What do you do about it when pressures that have no foundation mount and take over your mind? Do you ever give in to these pressures and decide to stay in bed until the bad feelings go away? I was close to doing just that – despite the amazing day yesterday I felt as if I needed to escape everyone and everything. When this stuff happens I fear that it might last forever. What would happen if this became a normal thing? How would I earn a living? It reminds me of the guy I wrote about a few journals ago – Maybe having him in my mind and in my recent journals has brought this down on my head and shoulders.

I drove by my new house this evening and checked out the holiday lights that my Lubbock landscapers had put up pro bono. They were perfectly positioned – I was impressed by the way they put them up and how brightly they shined. I’m not bragging or anything (because I had nothing to do with it) but my house lights looked better than the ones on the rest of the block. I took that drive by visit as an actual opportunity to go knock on the door of my future house. I said hello to the tenants and asked them if I could do anything for them (I know that the management company handles this but I wanted to be a good owner). They appreciated me coming by and invited me in. I looked at how they decorated and was not surprised by the sparseness of it all. These people were not settling in for the long haul – both of them were just going super minimalist because they had to focus more on their studies than on what couch would look best in a certain room. I didn’t stay long at all but was glad that I did go – it sort of had the effect of releasing my pressures. Knowing that I would be living there with my Melissa in a short time made me burst with a happy energy.

That being said, I don’t have the energy to write much more about this day – I might revisit it tomorrow and then again maybe I won’t. I just hope that these strange pressures stay away in days to come.

Have a great day good people!